Speaking About You

According to dating expert David Steel from Relationship Coaching Institute, there are a series of 4 steps to finding your life partner. 

1-     Scouting

2-     Sorting

3-     Screening

4-     Testing

In this article I will discuss step # 1 the scouting step.  This is the process of searching out someone to meet.  There are a lot of great women out there just waiting to meet the man of their dreams but finding these available women can take a little creativity. 

Sure there are plenty of single women at bars and nightclubs but the competition is also tough with many men also trying to meet women and women are usually on guard at these locations so getting through their defenses can be difficult.  Instead of battling other men for a woman’s affection at a bar, try meeting women in new locations.  Specifically locations that sport a high female to male ration will enhance your chances of meeting new women. 

Single men can scout in many ways and in many different places – the grocery store, the post office, the library, schools, dance lessons, and many more……….

A woman’s clothing store is a great place to meet new women.  Not only is this location filled with women but, it is also almost completely absent of other men.  Many men avoid a woman’s clothing store like the plague so if you are brave enough to head inside - you will usually have an assortment of women to choose from.  You can start a conversation by asking a woman for advice for a gift for your sister , your mother  or by complimenting her on her purchases. 

The gym can also be another great place to meet new women.  While you may already spend hours a day pumping iron in the weight room try spending some time on a cardio machine or drop in on an aerobics or yoga class.  Women usually dominate these activities so getting involved in these types of  activities increases your chance of meeting women while you are at the gym. 

Another great place to meet new women is in an adult continuing education class.  Many community colleges offer night classes on a variety of subjects.  Try signing up for a class or two and you may find that you meet a variety of new women.  The key here is to choose a class that sounds interesting to you but is a class that is likely to consist of mostly women, such as, a cooking classes or pottery classes. 

The Internet is always an option for meeting women.  You can try placing a personals ad online or join a dating service to read profiles of available men.  There are so many personals sites available that it would almost be impossible not to find a suitable match.  Just be sure to exercise caution and not give out your contact information or agree to meet anyone in a secluded location. 

Hobby and craft stores are also excellent places to meet new women.  Many women enjoy activities in arts and craft and often frequent these types of stores to purchase items for craft projects.  More importantly though this is a hobby that does not attract many men so you will most likely be one of only a few men in the store. 

Tanning spas or salons can be great places to meet new women.  Again, men do not frequent these locations as much as women, so you are most likely to be one of a very small number of men present. (This however is changing with the new metrosexual male comed forward.) If you are attracted to women who put a lot of effort into their appearance the salon is definitely the place to go.  Here you will find women who are committed to their appearance and who will appreciate you for your ability to understand that a manicure is just as important to men as it is to women. 

If you are in search of a woman with interests similar to yours, a bookstore might just be the place for you.  Try visiting a bookstore and only searching sections of the bookstore that interest you.  Forget about attempting to determine what section might attract the most women and stick to the sections that hold your interests.  You might be pleasantly surprised to meet a new woman who shares your passion for restoring old cars.  Also a lot of the newer bookstores have cafés in them so after you have chosen your books, sit down and relax with a coffee and just see how many women do the same.

Sporting events can also be a great place to meet women who either share your love of sports or are in search of men themselves.  You may attend a baseball game and wind up meeting a woman who shares your love of sports or you may at least meet a woman who is trying to meet a man.  Sporting events are typically well attended by men so it’s possible that the women you meet at a sporting event are trying to put the odds in their favor and use this opportunity to meet men. 

Another great place to meet new women is the theater.  Women are typically drawn to the arts and if you begin attending local theater productions you may find the opportunity to meet a variety of new women.  Not many men take in plays or operas on their own so doing so will help you to stand out from the crowd and single women are more likely to notice you. 

Finally a grocery story is a great place to meet new women.  Women make up the larger percentage of grocery shoppers so as one of only few men the odds will be in your favor.  Also, women typically are experienced shoppers and you can take this opportunity to ask for their assistance in picking out produce or choosing a pasta sauce.  You asking their advice will flatter women.

While bars and nightclubs are certainly full of available women the likelihood of meeting a woman at these locations is slim to none.  Although many women frequent nightclubs and bars in the hopes of meeting a man, these are also locations where women feel vulnerable and are likely to have their defenses up making them unapproachable.  Try attending ballroom dance lessons, or other dance lessons that advertise no partner needed.  I have taken these types of lessons and the lack or male partners is amazing.

In the book “Conscious Dating‿ written by David Steele, David identifies about four levels of attraction venues. There is an old saying “birds of a feather flock together‿, so the higher the level the more aligned the two people will be to each other.

• Level One:  public settings, such as the post office and grocery store.
• Level Two:  generic singles settings, such as singles events, personal ads, and the Internet.
• Level Three: special interest activities, such as a ski club, ballroom dancing, or yoga class
• Level Four:  highly aligned communities in which you share important values, goals, and/or passions with everyone there, such as religious communities, social activist groups, and spirituals organizations.

For more information on scouting, sorting, screening and testing contact Relationship Coach Kathleen Bass at  

speakingaboutyou@hotmail.com

Or www.consciousdating.org 

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